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Last night on my way to the Wednesday meal one of the staff members told me about a conversation they found themselves in that day. One of the members of the church had started asking them questions about the church. That is normal but what was abnormal was the person was asking about me and even my wife. They wondered about how I was doing and what role my wife played in the ministry here. The questions made the staff member uncomfortable. To them it appeared that the person was trying to uncover some problem. They also asked questions that made it seem like they thought the church was falling apart.
What caused me to reflect is that this person asking the questions is a person that I admire and I could not figure out what was going. So, I scratched my head and wondered. At first I was hurt. Were they coming after me for some reason? Then I was upset. Were they sowing discontent among staff and others? After the meal I went home puzzled.
My wife came home after leading the Wednesday worship service and suggested we go for an evening jog. She said it is a beautiful night. She was not aware of my puzzling mood. So, I jogged. As I jogged it became clear to me what I need to do. I needed to draw close to God and pray for this person. As I prayed it was clear to me that I do need to examine my own life and I began to pray that this person would be blessed and that they would continue to be used of God in many ways. After talking to God I went to sleep and found peace in resting in God’s care.
This week there was a phone message and the voice said to give her a call. It is for my wife and she found out that a friend of ours had passed away. He was only in his fifties and had been healthy until just a few weeks ago. Cancer had taken his life. His wife said that in his final hours of life he suffered and she could see death as a relief. As I heard the story I felt the pain and knew that this woman was speaking the truth in many ways. There are situations worse than death.
However, I also know there are many situations that appear better than death. I wish my friend had lived a few more years to enjoy his family. He left no only a wife and children but several grandchildren as well. I do not understand life. It happens in many ways that only God understands.
I do know that I need to appreciate my life more. None of us knows how long we have on this earth and truly each day is a gift. I pray I will be more thankful for what I consider a great gift -life.
My son and his family are on their way to Chicago. They fly out Wednesday and will be back in their home in Leuven, Belgium before long. It was wonderful to have time to visit with them and hear about their lives. Of course, I loved the time with my grandson. He can kick a ball very well and loves to interact with people. He is really a little social being. I think he is wonderful and he reminds me of our sons when they were little. I miss those days.
Life does not stand still for any of us. It is always moving on and it is surprising how quickly it goes by. That thought has sustained me through some tough times. It has given me courage to stand firm on what I know is right and it has helped me know that is short time my problems will not only be solved but that they will seem small and insignificant.
My spouse, Phyllis, is with my son and family. She is taking them to the airport and then will spend some time with her family in the Chicago airport. So, I sit in an empty house. It many ways it feels good but in many others ways it seems lonely and too quiet. I am hoping that I appreciate all that God has given me and that I never take my loved ones for granted. For that matter I hope I appreciate all who have made my life richer.
For me waiting is not easy. I like for my plans and wishes to happen now. When I sit done to a meal I like it ready and do not enjoy waiting a long time. But the hardest waiting for me is for maturity to take place in me. I wish I could handle all of life with a mature attitude. More than once I have longed for the freedom to not be bothered by some minor issue that seems to take more thoughts than it should. In my dealings with family and friends I have often known that I am capable of better relational skills. The older I grow the more I know I am not everything I should be. Waiting is not easy for me.
This causes me to rejoice in God’s patience and love. He loves me and patiently continues to work lovely in my life. When I fail He is there to support me and pick me up and tell me to try again. Today I rejoice in God’s ability to continue to shape me into the person He knows I am capable of being.
I have a feeling that once I learn to be more patient with myself I may be more understanding of others. I have much to learn and for me God is the best teacher.
I have been busy trying to pick up my grandson and his family. They flew into Chicago Wednesday after a day of delays. My son and his family along with Phyllis and I went to see my parents who live in the Northern part of the state. My dad’s health is not the best so it was a time for our family to be together again. We had a wonderful time and I am glad that it all worked out as it did. Truly our families are where life is really meaningful.
As I was trying to enjoy my family in the back of my mind I was thinking and praying about the Hubbard family. They had just learned that Joe’s back pain where from cancer that was spreading quickly. When I got back Thursday one of my first questions was how is Joe. I learned that he was slipping away quickly.
I had just finished my shower on Good Friday when I got a phone call from Craig, Joe’s son. Joe had passed away. Hanging the phone up, I felt like a part of me had been taken away. Joe was always one to kid with me and he had a wonderful sense of humor. When I first moved to O’Fallon, he was one of the first to take my wife and I out for a meal. We not only ate some great food but he entertained us all. He was truly one of a kind and I will miss him. I wish I could have said more to him before he left. I would have wanted to let him know how much he did mean to me. So, today Good Friday I have the blues and it is raining. I know that my loss is God’s gain. In my mind I see Joe telling some good stories to all in heaven who will listen.
I am glad Easter is coming. I always need it to help me go on.
I am finding it difficult to concentrate this morning and I suppose it is because the Easter season is so close. Each year I get caught up in the events of Holy Week. There are extra services and activities and this year I have some personal stuff on my plate, too. My son and his family are coming for a visit. They arrive in the midst of Holy Week and we be staying for a couple of weeks. That means that my grandson will be with us on Easter. It doesn’t get any better than that! So, in the midst of much to do, I am thinking about how great it will be to hug and kiss that precious gift from God. I hope to get a good picture of him with our family and put it on the web.
I am going to take my grandson to the Easter activities at Church but more importantly I am going to read and explain the greatest of all stories to him personally. I am praying that he will know the Risen Lord personally and that as he grows older he will be the person that God created him to be. This Easter will be special for me for many reasons but what a God that allows us to see new life everywhere and a God who give us new life, too.