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How do you handle disappointment?  For me I don’t like the feelings that come with life not going the way I want it to go.  I must confess that I like being a winner and hence losing causes me to do some serious examination of my life.  I suppose that is the good about disappointments.  But I still struggle with life handing me some lemons. 

I wonder how others face their failures.  I even wonder if others think about them as much as I do.  I suppose I am too egotistical in this regard.  The fear of failing has stopped me from even attempting some things.  But there are those times I have put it on the line and tasted both victory and defeat.  But I want (I hope it is not a need) to win more than I lose.

And how does all of this fit in with my being a disciple of Jesus?  What did He teach of this subject?  What did He think of disappointments?  As you can see I have more questions than answers.  Today I just wonder about disappointments that come to us all. 

   I am getting ready to be gone for a few days.  I am not sure where I am going or what I am going to be doing.  But I am positive that I am taking most of next week off as some vacation time.  I really don’t have any plans in place.  I am thinking Phyllis and I will bike ride somewhere.  We have mentioned several different places.  Phyllis and I have also thought of looking around at some back roads in Southern Illinois.  Let me repeat, nothing has been planned.

   This situation has me a bit concerned.  I usually like to have things planned out.  Hence, I am a bit nervous about next week but as I reflect on it I think I will be ok.  It may actually be a very good thing.  I usually am living by a calendar and trying to get everything done on schedule.  Could next week teach me there is a different way of living?  I may find out.  Whatever happens I know I am going to enjoy time with my spouse and away to reflect on life in a much broader way.

   Sundays are a very busy day for me.  Trying to stay focused on the sermon is a lot like tight rope walking.  There are unusual happenings like the air conditioner is not working properly and then there is information that comes my way like my aunt is in the hospital.  I try to keep it all straight and make it through it all.  So, one would think Mondays would be a day to relax but it is a very difficult day for me in many ways. 

   It is Mondays that I sort through all that happened on Sunday.  I try to make contact with those who I have learned are ill or hurting in other ways.  This may require some detail fact finding.  Then there are little things like a person lost a cell phone at church and has anyone seen it?  Of course there is the one who noticed something no right on Sunday and those issues need to be looked into further. 

   But in the back of my mind I spend time evaluating how Sunday went.  Did I preach too long?  Was the sermon true to God’s Word?  What about that family I haven’t seen for a few Sundays?  Do I need to make contact?  On and on it goes.  Hence Mondays are emotionally draining for me. 

   I say all of this to make the point that only God can give me the correct way of looking at my Monday issues.  Only God can help me to see life and my work in the church as it needs to be seen.  So, I ask you again to pray for me that I will be in listening to God and allowing Him to lead me. 

    Being a person who enjoys order I make a list of things I wish to get done before the week is over.  Mondays usually find me going over that list and making final plans to carry it out.  This list not only helps me get things done but also gives me a sense of accomplishment when it is completed.  I find the list method a good one for me.  However, this approach to life has one serious drawback.  Life does not always go along with my list.  I get some interruptions that force me to redo my list. For example as I am writing these words the phone rings.  Someone is having surgery today and they were not on my list.  Now I have to redo what I am doing today and this could mean that something on the list has to wait.

   Interruptions can be a source of concern. They can even bother us and cause us to lose some joy. But God is into interruptions. Sometimes He interrupts us and gets our attention. There are times He stops us dead in our tracks and forces us to look at where we are and where we are going. Sometimes He surprises us with an moment of grace and love and we sit amazed that the interruption was so good. Maybe life is more in the interruptions than in the plans.  I need to think more about this and be more open to God’s Spirit which calls us out of the routine and into new ways of living and acting.

          Today I am writing this as I ride in a car.   Don’t worry about an accident my spouse is driving.  I am on my way to my hometown.  We are meeting my son and then spending some time visiting with my family.  It will be my first visit since my dad’s death.  Going back brings back many memories.  My hometown has not changed much and yet my dad no longer lives there.  It is difficult for me to comprehend it yet.  So today has many feelings for me. 

          In the midst of my varied thoughts I cling to the many joys that are all round me.  My spouse is driving and she provides me this space to write and think and grow.  My son is going to meet me in my hometown and he will bring with him more than just conversation.  As I see the road signs pass me by I am reminded that life goes by fast.  But in the midst of this short fast lived life there are some many blessings and joys.  I am grateful that my dad lived as long as he did.  I am so happy that he left me a legacy of love and devotion to family and Go. 

          During the month of August our Church I am asking our church to be positive.  Being positive starts with positive thoughts.  Join me in traveling down memory lane and seeing all the great people and experiences that have blessed your life.  And yes, think on the good and best.

   I just returned from a week of canoeing.  It was a great trip and it helped me to get my mind off of the many details of everyday life and focus on just enjoying the great outdoors.  I found myself relaxing and even taking a nap from time to time.  However the down side of getting away is coming back to a pile of ’stuff’ that needs to be done.  So, today I sit here not knowing where to start so I decided to try and write this blog.  I am never sure what to say or what to share.  But I do know today that God is not only in life but actively involved in life.

   I know this because so many happenings in life are more than happenings.  On the canoe trip just the right people were on it.  It seemed like it was the right group at the right time.  Not only that but it seemed like just the right words were spoken to me by others.  I even had a couple of moments that brought tears to my eyes.  So, as I catch up on ‘things’ my heart is singing a song of praise that the canoe trip was not only a get away but a time for my spiritual growth. 

Getting older has some draw-backs and one of the biggest is that change is more difficult.  When I started out in ministry, there were certain expectations.  A robe was always worn at the services and the music was all traditional.  We did not have overhead screens and always sang from a hymnal.  In my mind, I remember an usher’s meeting to discuss if ushers could wear sports jackets rather than suits.  The world has changed in my lifetime and certainly the church is no exception.

Not wanting to be one of those “old guys” who does not know what is going on in the world, I want and need help.  I enjoy hearing what other churches are doing to be more relative in our world.  How do we really reach those who are not interested in going to church but who want to grow deeper in their relationship to God?

So ifyou have poisitive thoughts on this subject, I would not only read them, but give them some serious thought.  Perhaps your thought will spring board something in me or someone else that can advence God’s kingdom.  Thanks in advance!

 

   I have been rather busy the last few weeks.  There seems like a never ending to do list before me.  Yesterday I was not looking forward to several things I had to do.  In the middle of those things was my preaching and attending our church’s annual boat outing.  I tried to catch a nap between church and the outing but there was just not enough time.  So, I was tired when I stepped out of the car and got ready to greet people and go boating.  My grandson was with me and he was ready to go.  (Where do he get all that energy?)  We hopped on a boat and away we went.  Watching him enjoy the boat ride suddenly brought me a refreshment that carried me through the day.  All seemed better and the world looked much brighter.  I consider that a great gift from God.

   This is not the only time God has brought me refreshment in the middle of being exhausted.  Sometimes I wonder how I am going to make it through and yet I do.  I know it is God who gives strength and carried me through it all.  The older I get the more I am finding out that letting God be in control of my life is the answer to joy and peace.  I hope I can get this lesson fully learned so that my life is always refreshed even in the midst of being tired.

   In a few days my spouse and I will take off to lead a canoe trip.  We have 25 people signed up to canoe a week in the ‘North’ country.  Personally it is a time of refreshment.  I will be able to not think of much except where we are going to canoe for the day and other related matters.  My mind will not be thinking much of the normal routines of my life.  I have been on this trip for over 20 years and each one is loaded with memories that I cherish.  I really thank God that I am able to go and enjoy the outdoors.  Sleeping in tents and camping on remote islands fills a void in my life and fuels me to enjoy life more. 

   Getting ready for this trip takes a lot of work.  There is food to be not only purchased but pre-cooked.  Tents have to be set up and inspected.  Canoes have to be arranged for and many other details taken care of.  I help with some of these necessary details but most of them are taken care of by Phyllis, my spouse.  What is amazing about Phyllis is that she puts in hours and hours and really asks for no credit.  In fact she does not mention it to anyone.  I am the only one who really sees it.  Most of those canoeing probably don’t even think about all that goes into the trip.  But I notice the days she spends making sure all is in place. 

  She serves as a reminder to me that there are many, many who give of themselves and don’t ask for any recognition.  These are the ones who God sees and really blesses.  However, it wouldn’t hurt me to be more thankful and to let those who do so much know that I am thankful.  When I go home today I am going to say thanks to one who gives so much.

 

     Being a caring and compassionate person has a down side.  Certain things may bother me that others might not even concern someone else.  My personality makes Monday’s a difficult day for me.  Sundays are busy and a day to interact with a large group of people.  This is wonderful in many ways.  I am able to catch up on many people’s lives and seeing where God is truly working in lives.  But not all is so much of a blessing.  I also see and hear about some who are suffering.  There are physical illnesses that touch lives and even more are bearing emotional crosses that are quite heavy.  So, Mondays are a day for processing all that I took in on Sunday. 

     I sit in my office and look at my prayer list.  I rejoice in being able to take some names off of it and writing how God has answered the prayers.  I then add the names of those who I notice are suffering in a variety of ways.  My heart aches as I think of those whose lives are less than ideal.  Some have even drifted away from their first love -God.  I know I cannot solve another’s problems but I do feel their pain and am aware that only God can bring lasting and meaningful healing. 

    As I started to write this blog I was feeling a bit down at all who are going through their valley of the shadow of death but suddenly I realize that I am only human and God is God.  May God life all our hearts to His goodness.

        Walking my dog is not easy in this hot weather.  Even he does not like to be outside that much.  But today as I was coming back home I saw my grandson walking toward me.  I could tell from his face something was wrong.  It was such a problem that he had a hard time expressing what was going on in his life.  He had cut his foot and tears were following to the ground as he explained his ‘hurt.’  

          So, I did what all good grandparents do.  I took him in my arms and hugged him tightly.  Of course I had to look at the hurt and tell him that all would be fine.  In his case I also had to sit down and watch a ‘veggie tale’ story.  I don’t claim to be an expert on medical problems but I do know how to comfort a three year old that is hurting.  One of the lessons that came to me is that I need to listen more to the hurts of others.  Perhaps my simple listening and truly caring can bring healing to those who are crying out for help.

   I am a blessed person.  I have not kept count but I have received many cards and notes expressing sympathies since the death of my father.  These many expressions of love have caused me to see how blessed I really am.  For me it is too easy to overlook what is right before me.

   When I am blind to the goodness all around me then my life becomes unbalanced.  This can cause me to become more pessimistic than realistic.  But what bothers me most is that I miss out on the good in life and lose some of the joy of living. 

   I want to live life to the fullest.  I don’t want to waste a minute being miserable.  I have already wasted too many minutes.  So, these words are written for me.  May I continue to see how blessed I am.

 

 

   Feeling helpless is not fun.  Personally it makes me sad to not be able to solve many of life’s mysteries.  One of my emails told of a person I know who is battling a life threatening illness.  He is suffering in many ways I can only imagine.  Truthfully, I hate this happening.  I am praying for God to bring healing and at the same time I wish I could do more.

   But that is one of my fundamental problems in life.  I am not God.  It is so easy to write those words and yet ignore the importance of that fact.  Only God is God and only God is in control of life.  I am a limited being who can only do what God allows and gives me the wisdom and strength to do.

   Once I get this thought into my life -really get it deep into my being -then I can relax and just let life happen.  Part of the joy of life comes about in realizing who really is in charge.

    As I started my day I noticed several prayer requests on my desk and on the web.  Some of these caused me to reading them again and to not only prayer for the requests but to feel the pain of those asking for prayer.  Reading them caused me to realize my limitation again.  I cannot solve all the problems of the world and some of those in pain may not be given the answer I would like them to receive.  My heart hurts for those who are in situations that no matter which way they turn there is pain.

   Even as my heart is aching and feeling the pain I also realize that there is some good in the hurt.  There are many who are reaching out to those hurting souls.  I thank God for those caring and compassionate people in life who do make a huge difference in this world just by being themselves.  Also bringing thanks my way is the thought of how blessed I am to not at the moment being caught in some form of hurting.  I have many blessings and one of them is that today I am without any serious pain.

   Sometimes I don’t like some of my personality and ways.  But today I am grateful for a caring heart that feels not only my own pain but the hurt of others as well. 

I find it difficult to trust at times.  I guess I have been disappointed a few times in life and I don’t want that to happen again.  The problem with not trusting is that it can drain a person of the joy of living. Trusting allows one to joyful go on in life despite what is happening at the moment.  I struggle with this issue but more than once have had to have a talk with myself and tell myself that God is in control of all of life and I need to just relax and trust Him.

I should know from previous experiences that God does not let us down.  He has been with me every step of my life’s journey.  What is so amazing about this fact is that He has never let me down.  I have wondered about some happenings.  I have felt disappointment at first but looking back He has been faithful and given me more than I could have asked for or even dreamed of.  God can be trusted.

Sitting at my desk this morning feels good.  I have been gone for over a week.  Our family rented a villa in Sicily.  We had a wonderful time!  I was able to spend time with my sons and their wives.  Of course, my grandson is the cutest and smartest young person I know.  Sicily is a beautiful part of the world and I was blessed to be able to see a small part of it. 

Returning home I learned that my dad had passed away.  I rushed around to get to the funeral.  I am still ‘working’ through the grief.  Right now I am at the stage of “I don’t believe it has happened.”  I still have a long way to go but I am taking one step at a time. 

My grief has brought one important thought to my mind.  There are a great many wonderful caring people in this world.  I have been hugged by those who have tears in their eyes.  Cards and words of comfort have been coming my way.  Prayers are continually go up.  God is alive in the lives of many.  Most of all I have spent much time in thanks for my family.  My spouse, sons and their wives have been an anchor for me as I go through these tough waters.  God has blessed me richly. 

I have also learned again that life is short and each day is a gift.  I am asking God to help me use each moment wisely.

Yesterday a young man came to church and he was concerned about getting a ride home.  Someone had dropped him off and he lived in a different town than ours.  What amazed me about this situation was the way our community of faith responded.  More than one person was willing to give him a lift.  < ?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" />

          Yesterday a family came to church facing a critical illness.  A group of people gathered around them and many offered to help in any way they could.  Can you see how these two stories tie together?

          It is so easy to see how the church fails.  But I just want to testify that the church (both small and capital C) is alive and at many times represents the Christ of the Church very well.  There are times I am proud to be with those who are following Jesus.  Yesterday I was proud.

           I find myself being a bit of an extremist.  I tend to view life as good or bad.  I have trouble seeing the gray parts of life.  This world view causes me some difficulties.  Evaluating situations and certain parts of life are not as simple as good or bad.  I have come to realize that life is life and that it is more important to live it than to evaluate all that happens.  In the end really only God has the wisdom to judge.

          Today I am going to live more of life and spend more time in engaging life positively and less time being critical of myself.  I know that one of the best ways to do this is to let God run life and not just life but my life.  So, my prayer for myself is to be filled with God’s Spirit and love and let that flow through my being out into the world around me.

    When I do some baking (which is not as often as my spouse would like) I get out the measuring cups.  Those measuring cups help me to put the correct amount of materials into the mixture.  How does one know if they are following God as they should?  Where are the measuring cups?  How does one know they are where they should be in their relationship with God?

    There are many variables.  But to me (and I repeat to me) the real test of my relationship to God is how I am getting along with others.  Do I love –really love others?  I know that I often say I do and yet I know deep within me that I don’t always love all.  In fact there are times I am out of sorts with some.  If I am honest there are even times I don’t care for some who are different than I am.  How does this happen and what does it mean?

    I believe that there are times I drift from God’s love and try to rely on my own power to love all.  I need to do some confessing.  There is confessing that I do indeed not love all and that I am trying to love all on my own power.

     Today I am going to spend time alone with God and ask Him to help me be an instrument of His love and not just to a select group of individuals but to all.

    Today I received an email for a person whose son is critically ill.  He has been sick for a long time and I have seen him many times in the hospital.  When I read her note I took time to pray.  At such times I wish I could take the pain away.  I never know exactly what to do or what to say.  I feel my limitations keenly when I face situations where I really can do nothing.             

    Admitting I find myself helpless I not only humbling but a time to acknowledge the One who is over us all.  God is the only One who can help us in our helpless moments.  I know that He does work through others and that others can pull us through many deep waters.  However, only God can truly bring us peace and joy.

    So, today I pray for all who are in need of comfort and healing.  I will do my best to represent God but I know I am not God.  I am praying that God will work through me.  As always I have to let God’s Spirit not only be in me but released through me.