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This past, Saturday, our Church held a land dedication at the property that our Church owns and is looking to for future development. The weather was not very good and it was Memorial Day weekend. About fifty of us gathered in the rain and I led in a dedication service. I didn’t feel very good about my part in leading. I rushed because of the weather and I really should have been better prepared. When I got in my truck I asked my wife, Phyllis, her impression. She was excited. But it was not due to my leadership or even the food that was served. It was not even the people who gathered to celebrate God’s gift of land to our Church. Her excitement came from the land itself. She could see camping and other activities taking place on that land. She saw way beyond the moment and was excited about the vision she had for the land. I drove home rejoicing in how God continues to speak.
Pablo is the name of the dog that lives in our house. In fact he sort of runs the house in some ways. He sleeps wherever he wants and roams the house freely during the day when we are both at work. I have grown very fond of him. I love him deeply. He has been an ideal dog. This week I took him for a walk and a cat jumped out and caused him to jump back. In jumping back his leg must have taken a shock. He pulled it up and hopped on three legs for a little bit and then was back to normal. That incident has caused me to look at him with different eyes. He is over ten years old and I think that his legs are just getting older and bother him from time to time. I went home and grieved over my aging dog. I really don’t like the idea of parting with Pablo and yet I know the day is coming. As I have thought these varied thoughts I have come to the conclusion that life is in God’s hand not mine and I must trust Him each day. I also am thankful for each day that Pablo and I can walk or jog.
Today in staff meeting we discussed how to make our Church friendlier and be more inviting to visitors. We spent a great deal of time trying to come up with some plan to help in this area of our Church’s life. The more we discussed it the more God seemed to be saying to my heart let God work on this with you. Taking the class on Experiencing God has taught me that I need to look where God is working and join Him. But I still find myself doing some planning and then asking God to join me. That path does not lead to a good place. It leads to my way and that is not always God’s way. As I am writing these words, Joan, the Church’s youth worker, came into my office to give me a tee-shirt. I tried it on and it not only fit but had a great message. The message was one word -pray. That is the real secret to life -pray. When I think about visitors in our Church prayer is the answer. God can and does lead people to the church they are to be connected with. May I be a person of prayer that helps others to pray and be in touch with God. First O’Fallon United Methodist Church isn’t my Church or even the United Methodist system’s Church -It is God’s. Because it is His I am praying more and more that I am faithful to the vision He has for this Church at this time.
I have been doing a lot of reading about trusting God and letting Him have control. I have needed to do this reading. I am sensing that the local Church that God has called me to pastor is in the midst of extreme change. I know in my heart that change must occur but what change and how to help it occur has stumped me. I woke up last night and pondered the situation for a long while. I decided to let God have the problem and then lay there trying to come up with some organized thoughts that would help me. God must laugh at the way I let go and then take it back again. I am drinking my coffee to keep my mind awake and alert as I go through this day. With each sip I repent of how I want to control the future and how things are going to be in my life and the life of others. I am asking God to help me pray and the prayer that never fails, “Thy will be done.” That prayer is really letting go.
Yesterday I went to a continuing education event that was great. The speaker talked to minsters and reminded us of our humanity. I loved the wake up call. It spoke to my heart that I cannot do anything on my own power. It is so easy to think that I can make a difference in this world when really only God can do that task. It is almost as if I have to come to end of my rope before Ilet go and let God take over. I know from very personal experience that I have had to learn that lesson of letting God take control over and over again. At times I find myself wondering how I am going to ’lead’ this church and at such times I must turn it over to God and wait on Him. When I do that God gives me a peace that not only will everything be all right but that it will be according to His plan and will. Not always focused like I should be, I needed yesterday to help me once again learn to depend on God to guide my steps.