- November 2013
- October 2013
- September 2013
- August 2013
- July 2013
- June 2013
- May 2013
- April 2013
- March 2013
- February 2013
- January 2013
- December 2012
- November 2012
- October 2012
- September 2012
- August 2012
- July 2012
- June 2012
- May 2012
- April 2012
- March 2012
- February 2012
- January 2012
- October 2011
- September 2011
- August 2011
- July 2011
- June 2011
- May 2011
- April 2011
- March 2011
- February 2011
- January 2011
- December 2010
- November 2010
- October 2010
- September 2010
- August 2010
- July 2010
- June 2010
- May 2010
- April 2010
- March 2010
- February 2010
- January 2010
- December 2009
- November 2009
- October 2009
- September 2009
- August 2009
- July 2009
- June 2009
- May 2009
- April 2009
- March 2009
- February 2009
- January 2009
- December 2008
- November 2008
- October 2008
- September 2008
- August 2008
- July 2008
- June 2008
- May 2008
- April 2008
- March 2008
- February 2008
- January 2008
Yesterday I found myself in the hospital room with my mom and dad. My dad was restless but moving and confused. After talking to the doctor I came home. It looks like he will survive the stroke but his speech may be impaired. Of course it is still too early to know all the details and they are still running tests. I am working through many emotions as would anyone else in my situations. I have learned once again that our families are very important to us. Life has many lessons to teach us all and it continually throws them at us.
I am praying that I will keep letting God guide me and teach me His ways and truth. That is the only way to experience the life that really gives us eternal peace and joy.
The phone was ringing. At first I thought it was a dream then I realized that my cell phone was actually ringing. It took me a minute to figure out that it was my sister talking. She was upset. My dad had to be taken to the hospital by ambulance. He could not walk or talk. I took the information in but really did not comprehend it. I made several calls to my sister and my mom. It looks like that my dad has had a stroke and one that is serious. This is not something my dad would have wanted. He has always been so strong and independent. Now he cannot even take care of himself. My heart is broken and my mind confused. What can I do? Should I do this or that has been racing through my mind since I heard the news. I have talked with God and told Him my wishes. Although I am not even sure of what I wish for. I would like it all to be a bad dream and not real. But it is real and I must face the truth of what is going on.
I am realizing again that life is in God’s hands. So, I ask for your prayers and I ask you to pray for me. May I have the strength to realize that only God knows what is best for me and for my dad. It is in His hands as is all of life.
Yesterday started out bad for me. But I am not blaming yesterday it was all me. I got up and started to think about all the things that were going wrong. My home computer was not working like it is capable of working. I had tried to send some pictures to get them developed and that was not working. I got a couple of notes that made me think about projects that seemed to keep coming at me. After walking the dog I messed with the computer some more and got more frustrated. I decided to go to the office. I knew that the computer there was also done but I had plenty of things to do that did not require the computer. So, I shaved and cut myself doing that everyday task. I jumped in the shower and was just getting out when the doorbell rang. The counters (those who count the offering money) needed to get in the office. I rushed around getting dressed. I even managed to pull a button off a shirt in my hurrying. I went to the church in a less than happy mood. I let everyone around know that I was not having a good day. Surprisingly people stayed away from me.
When I reflect on those few hours on Monday I am embarrassed and disappointed in myself. I let some very minor things throw me off the path to a godly day. My wife who had just gotten back from three weeks in Europe and had seen three Nazi camps told me that my life was much better than those prisoners who suffered so much. She was right but I did not receive her words as kindly as she meant them. More disappointment in myself. Fortunately, I got away from it all, took a bike ride, talked to God who told me He not only loved me but still has a great plan for my life. I love how God just keeps coming at me with love.
After a good night’s sleep today is looking like a totally different world. Computers are humming. I am getting more done already than I dreamed of getting done. Life seems totally different than yesterday’s start. I know I will have many more of life’s minor setbacks, I hope the next time I respond more maturely.
Today is a settling in for a normal day of work. I am sure some may wonder if I work at all but there always seems like something to do. But in the back of my mind I am projecting myself into the future. For you see my spouse is coming home from Europe this Friday. She has been gone a little over three weeks. I am looking forward to her coming home. As I think of her return I am going to enjoy hearing her stories of her trip and I will try to catch her up on what has been going on here. It will just be very nice to reconnect. I am thankful for my family and the way they have been so supportive of me through the years.
As I think about this reunion about to take place, I am asking God to help me have that kind of a relationship with Him. Somehow, it is not at the same level. Oh, I talk to Him and at times feel His presence but there are other times when that feeling is not so strong. I suppose I have been guilty of acting like a personal relationship with God is so easy when in fact it goes through many phases. I know it is hard to believe that after 30 plus years of being a pastor I am still just learning to walk with God. Today I am going to be asking God to speak anew to me.
If you know me you know that I don’t keep up on current events like many others around me. I get my current news from the Internet and other sources which are not as traditional as the newspaper and television. But lately I have been disappointed with all the headlines about a popular singer’s death. Not that he was a bad person. I enjoyed some of his music and certainly his death is worthy of the headlines. But are there not more important topics such as why are State continues to not fund institutions the money they promised. I am constantly amazed at how much we in our culture go for what I call the superfical.
I admit to not be as deep as I need to be in regard to much of life. But I would hope I would go beyond some of the superficial living that seems to be the rage of the public. This past week a minister friend of mine passed away and his death did not make any headlines. His death is buried in the back of the papers but he touched many lives for the kingdom. He did not write books or give lectures but he was always there with a smile and a good story that would bring forth a laugh. Today I am thinking of those words of Jesus that the first will be last and the last will be first. My friend is on to his eternal reward and that is the one that really counts. I had better stop here I feel a sermon coming on and this is not the time or the place.