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Last night we had a church meeting. We were discussing some lofty topic when I decided to put my two cents worth into the discussion. Reflecting on what I said it was not worth two cents. I spoke out of my own tiredness and disappointments with certain past happenings. Although no one said anything to me after the meeting, I felt terrible. Going home, I shared with my spouse who looked at me like I was from a different planet. She wondered what I was even talking about. I put my head on the pillow and wondered if I knew what I was talking about. I laid awake for a few minutes and wondered if I could be transported to a new setting and start over somehow in a new life. (Well, maybe it was not that bad but you get the idea)
Despite my many thoughts I did sleep well. However, I still was thinking about how stupid I was as I was walking my dog and talking to God. God seemed to agree that I was not His smartest student but He did tell me He loved me. That was a plus! The more I talked with God He seemed to nudge me to take some positive steps that would help the entire situation. So, as I write these words today I write them as a person who knows they are human and can fail in many ways but also a human that God loves. I wish I was perfect but it is only wishful thinking. But it is not wishful thinking to trust God and follow Him in spite of my weaknesses.