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Waking up in the middle of the night is not a good happening for me. Believe me when I write I need sleep. Losing sleep can cause me to lose perspective about many issues. So, I was not happy this past week when I awoke at around 3am. My mind was thinking about many issues. The main issue was my spouse’s health. Phyllis has expressed some concerns about a lump on her breast. So, I was lying there thinking about the many implications of her health concern.
Realizing neither of us were young people made my thoughts go down some paths that were disturbing. As my mind chewed on those night thoughts I had two realizations. The first was how short life really is. I have heard it before from so many others, but truly it only seems like yesterday that I was a young man with a young family. Secondly, I realized how little control I have in life and especially in my own life. I cannot stop the aging process or guarantee my physical health or anyone else’s well being.
Once those thoughts came fully into view I was forced to let go and let God. There really was no more I could do. Strange how my struggling stopped when I knew it was all in God’s hands. I am sure I will wrestle with this again but I hope not in the middle of the night.