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A
couple of days ago my mom called. She was upset. She related her
reason for being upset. My brother in law had just received the word
that his cancer was fast acting and there was not much the medical
profession could do to help the situation. My sister and husband
were told that he had between a month and three month to live. This
news was upsetting to me also. What do you do or say?
Since
that day I have talked with my sister and they are probably going to
try a massive chemo treatment and see if this can buy a few more day
of life. I mostly listened and tried to be supportive. My sister
asked me for a favor. She wanted me to pray and pray I did. That
prayer on the phone was not the last one I have uttered for my
brother in law and sister and I will continue to be in prayer.
This
whole experience has caused me to think again about how quickly life
goes by. It seems like only yesterday my sister got married and
moved to the State of Wyoming. All this thinking has convinced me to
thank God for each day of life that is given to me. Life is a gift
for sure.
This past week I listened to some tapes about feelings and I learned that feelings are just that -feelings. They are not good or bad just feelings. I also learned that a person should not be ruled by those feelings. If a person is not careful feelings can lead a person down a wrong road. Obviously God gave us feelings but He also gave us a mind to sort through those feelings and find our way to fulfilment and joy.
So, today I am going to look at my feelings but not be led by them. I am going to enjoy this day despite how I feel. Believe it or not this will not be easy for me. I tend to have a lot of feelings about a lot of things. So, the way I am going to accomplish this is the only way I can get it done -with God’s help. So, with God’s help I am moving past the feelings and going on faith that God is not only with me but working all for good in my life.
Getting ready this morning was just like any other morning. I was putting on my socks when my spouse started talking about some pages in a devotional book that had spoken to her. I was paying very close attention and then it hit me that I needed to focus on what she was saying. I listened as intently as I could and heard her heart speaking. I am ashamed to admit that there are times I do not listen as well as I should. But today God helped me listen and because of this she shared some thoughts that we very important to her.
This early morning happening has caused me to reflect more on listening. I would have never heard my spouses heart if I had not focused on not just her words but all that was taking place around me. I wonder how many of life’s surprising moments I miss because I am in a hurry to get on with something else or because I am too taken up with my own thoughts. Today I am hoping and praying that I will listen more with ears that hear the heart.
I enjoy being right. This can be a real problem in my relationship with others. There are been (and I am ashamed to say) times when being right became the top priority. I am sitting here today wondering about my need to be right and have decided that I can not only be wrong (I certainly have been many times) but I can also put relationship above being right. I really need to be think about being more humble in many ways. I am talking about not just with those who are friends but most of all with my family and close friends.
After all I am just a human like everyone else. I am no better and no worse than any one else. So, this week I am going to think about the words respect and honor and try to live them out.
For some reason this week has been a tough one for me. The biggest problem I have faced the last few days is me. I tend to think about issues and relationships so much that eventually I can come up with a problem. I would not say I look for a problem but I tend to ‘find’ one way to easily. The one good ‘thing’ about this is that I in part realize what is going on. This allows me to not get too worked up on some of the problems I see coming my way. Let me go back to the beginning sentence. I am very capable of messing up my own life without help from anyone.
I write all of this to say that today I am going to redeem the day and take my head out of the sand and get on having a great day. I am not going to do this on my own strength. I am going to ask God to help me accomplish this task. (and not just today but for tomorrow too)
I am writing these words late at night. (At least late for me.) I have had a long day. There have been many different parts to this day. I
have listened to some complaints about some happenings at the church.
I have seen some sick at the hospitals. One of those sick is
questioning if God really cares and heals. I have listened to a
person who is thinking about a life change. Emailing has taken some
time too. There are those who have questions and those who just want
to keep in touch. My spouse is in Belgium and I not only read her
email but responded to it. (She is getting a cold which has me a bit
concerned.) And the frosting on my day was a long meeting tonight
that touched on many topics.
So, tonight as I sit here writing I am tired and feeling exhausted. Once
I get down with these words I am going to read the Bible and say my
prayers and lay myself down for a night of sleep. What always amazes
me is that after a night of sleep everything looks better. Sleep
really is a great gift from God. I am thanking God for the rest He
gives us not only in sleep but in the assurance that this is His
world and He is in control. The time has come to let this day go and
let God bring a renewal to me.
I read somewhere that people are about as happy as they want to be. The more I think about that idea the more I believe it is true. At least I know that there are too many times I have ruined my own ‘good times’ by thinking wrongly. Not only have I caused myself to lose ‘happiness’ but I have also shut myself off from being as creative as I could be. If you know me you know that I can use all the help I can get in being creative.
As I ponder my life I find that I believe God gives new life and yet deny that fact in the daily routines of my life. Allowing the wind of God to blow into my life and bring newness should be easy and natural. But I struggle with it. Part of my struggling is that I rely to much on my own thinking and not enough on God’s moving and working. I wonder if I will ever learn.
Each week I try to write something on this blog. I never know what to say. In a given day I go through many different moods and feelings plus I have many varied experiences. So what I write at one moment may take a new turn the next moment. That is not to say I am one to change my mind or beliefs easily but it is to say the world I live in is constantly changing and changing at a very fast rate. There is some real exciting parts to this happening and some very scarry parts too.
In my profession of being a church leader I have now come to the realization that what ‘worked’ last year may not this year. I may be overstating the case but what worked last month may not be well received this month. The world is changing so fast and the church and I have a hard time with this realization. So, today and the days ahead I am going to try and just live one day at a time with God leading. He is the only guide that really can be counted on to lead us safely ‘home.’
Today is a great day outside. The weather is so nice and the sky is blue but I am feeling tired today. I had a long day yesterday. After the worship services it seemed like I just went from one activity to another. When I woke up this morning I really did not want to get out of bed. Sitting at my desk my body felt tired as I thought about all that needed to be done today. In fact the load somehow seemed heavier and harder to carry.
So, I am sitting here writing these words knowing that I need the rest God gives to come to me and help me through the day. But the more I think about it I need God’s help to make it through all of life and yet more than once I have forgotten this important fact. So, I guess I am glad I am a bit tired. It helpes me realize where real strength comes from.
I had an amazing weekend. There was a lot packed into those couple of days. But what I enjoyed the most was connecting with some wonderful people. When I think about one of the great joys of my life people are a the top of the list. What is so amazing about so many individuals is that they help me to see life from many different views. Each person views life from their world view and every perspective is different. I am learning to enjoy that fact.
As I am recovering from the weekend, I am thankful for so many persons who have touched my life and helped me to experience life to the fullest. So, today I sit here being thankful for the many whose lives have crossed mine. Thanks!
I
am trying to get back into the swing of work. I spent a week
canoeing in the waters between Canada and Minnesota. It was a great
experience. The weather was wonderful. It was cooler than O’Fallon
and that made sleeping in a tent much more enjoyable. The canoeing
was excellent despite the water being choppy at times. The food
could not have been any better either. It was a great trip. But
what really made it the best of times was the people that made up the
group. As I reflect on each individual and their part in the group I
have to believe that God put us together for that week. I learned a
great deal from each individual and together we supported and helped
each other in a variety of ways.
I
am reading a book on diversity and how it is needed in all areas of
life including the church. The author is quick to point out that
diversity can be very messy and has it share of unique problems. But
he is also just as quick to point out that diversity brings growth
and maturity. I am not proud of the fact that I enjoy others who are
similar to me in many ways. Today I am asking God to help me mature
and grow in my understanding of those who are ‘different’ in many
ways. May I be one who can not only live with diversity but one who
knows the kingdom of God is made up of many who are not like me. (I
guess I should say ‘thank God.’)
I am a person of many routines. Almost every day I get up before 6am and walk our dog, Pablo. He is a precious gift from God. He is so gentle and kind and he truly loves all. He is also getting old. (I think we all are getting old) He is over 14 years old and in doggy years that is a lot. The hot weather that we have had lately is hard on him and I have not walked him as far as normal. But each day we are out there and finding out that we are not the only ones who have a routine. We ‘run’ into some of the same people and dogs every day. In fact if I miss a day because of being out of town someone will ask me where I have been. I guess routines are both good and bad. They do help life go smoothly. After all I don’t have to think much about what I am going to do first thing in the morning. But they can also stop us from seeing new vistas. I speak from experience when I say routines can get us struck in a rut.
With all of that said it should be no surprise that I have routines in my relationship with God. I read the Bible at a certain time of day. I have a pattern of prayer that I follow. I even fall into patterns of worship and dare I say even in preaching. That is not all bad. It helps me be a person of discipline. But I need to be careful that I keep my eyes open for new ways and new thoughts. So, in the days ahead I am looking around more and wondering where God is really speaking to me.
Yesterday I preached a sermon on loving others. Yesterday was also a day I had persons put me to the test of loving. It was not that they were being mean or were even in the wrong. They simply had concerns. But my attitude needed to be more loving. There are times I find it easier to preach a sermon than to live one. So, there are times I have to ask God to help me see myself honestly. At such times I pray my own personal prayer of confession and seek God’s forgiveness. I also have to chart a new path and one that is more like the path Jesus walked.
Tonight as I write these words I am thankful for those times when I have felt God bringing conviction on my life and showing me I need to live more Christ-like. So, I am going to continue to ask God to work in my life and lead me on to being more like Him.
This week the temperatures outside have been extremely high and the humidity has been up there too. I find the heat to be oppressive. I am one of those persons who prefers cooler weather. I seem to get more done in the winter than the summer. I could be wrong but I think that my dog has the same view. But what stands out to me is how much weather talk there is around me. People seem to have questions about the weather. Is it going to rain today? When will it cool down? I think you get the idea. What is really strange is that we have to accept the weather that comes our way. We do not control it. We can hide out in our air conditioned homes and offices but we cannot stop the heat wave from coming our way. We may not like it but it is beyond our control.
Like the weather much of life is beyond our control. We cannot make others behave in ways we think they should behave. We cannot stop some of the circumstances that come our way. In many ways we are helpless. Of course we don’t want to admit such things. After all we are adults who make things happen. But down deep we know that we live in a world where we have limited power and influence. One of the great features of this thought is that I am learning to trust God and let Him take care of those various parts of my life that are like the weather beyond my control. After all God is the author and sustainer of life itself. So, today rejoice life is not in your hands but in the capable hands of GOD.
I am sitting in my office trying to get a handle on the day. So, I decide to just sit back in my chair and look out the office window. Quess what I see? It is raining again. I am no expert on the weather but it appears to me that we have had a lot of rain the last few days. But as I look at it raining I am feeling comforted by being inside and looking out. I am dry and very content sitting in my chair. The roof above me does not leak and the temperature is just about perfect. As I slowly sip my cup of coffee I realize that I am blessed in many ways.
Unfortunately, I don’t always think about all the ways God has smiled on me and given me so much. I sometimes forget that each day is a gift. I have even been known to complain about some aspect of my life. So, today I am going to just continue looking out my window and enjoy the great feeling of being inside an office that allows me a view of the world.
I am never prepared to understand all of God’s ways. Last week our Church had its Vacation Bible School. Plans were made. Materials ordered. Teachers and other volunteers recruited. But what was not planned was the way the Holy Spirit showed up. There was no doubt in my mind God was in the place.
I could not believe how many students showed up. Only God could have worked in the hearts of those parents and students. Our sanctuary was filled with young lives full of life. Each night a group of dedicated volunteers fixed a homemade meal for all. Then there was singing and other special group happenings. I watched in amazement. Only God could have brought this into being.
I spent my time during Bible School being an at large greeter. What impressed me the most was the spirit both of those attending and those working. I have been a minister for many years and this year’s Bible School was one of the best. God was in our “House.” I am praying for more times when the Spirit is pouring His grace and love upon us. A special thanks to all who made the Vacation Bible School a tool God used to touch lives.
Sometimes I have to get away to fully appreciate all the many blessings that God has sent my way. I spent last week in California. My older son met Phyllis and I there and we did some hiking and sight seeing. Having never been in California I was not sure what to expect. I was not prepared for the beauty I witnessed. We hiked in four different State Parks and found all to be filled with scenery that literally took my breathe away.
I never thought I would say this publicly but I loved California and enjoyed every moment there. Even with that said, I was very happy to get back to Illinois. I came back refreshed and ready to return to my many tasks. Being away made me appreciate my home and my profession. Sometimes a change of scenery brings a fresh look at life.
Upon returning I learned that our Church’s book-keeper, Diane Cooper had a stroke. She is making a remarkable recovery. Keep her in your prayers. Life is fragile in many ways. So, today count your blessings and take a new look at your life.
In a few days I will be attending our Church’s Annual Conference. Once a year United Methodist from central and southern Illinois get together to hear reports from a variety of ministries that together we not only support but we encourage to continue touching lives for Jesus. But there is more than reporting there is also a time to worship and be inspired to lift Jesus up to a needy world. There is even a time to remember those leaders who have left this earthly existence and gone to the heavenly kingdom. And each year there is a new ‘class’ of ministers who are ordained to bring their gifts and graces to the churches in our area.
However, all of the routine happenings of Conference are not the highlights for me personally. For me there is nothing like greeting and sharing with those who through the years have become an important part of my life. There are other ministers that have stood by me through the years and have enriched my life in many ways. There will be laity there who I have grown to not only appreciate but who have taught me a variety of life lessons. Sharing stories and even food together seems to become a holy time for me.
Conference is a reminder that people are where life is really at. Organizations are important but the humans of the organizations are much more important. Today as I think about my time with others from this part of the world I am ever grateful for people who have made my life richer and more meaningful. I thank God for others.
There are many times I am so happy to be a pastor of a caring and compassionate church. Today I opened two emails that touched my heart. One was from our mission chair person who informed me that he had authorized some money to go to aid the disaster victims in Missouri and he also informed me that one of our members is on his way. He has been trained to help and is going to see what he can do. The other email was from a person in a Sunday school class who is seeking help to distribute food to some needy families in our community.
Not only have I received emails today but I went to the hospital to visit a person from our congregation. When I entered the room I saw some of our members in the room and they were there to help in any way they could. It truly has been a day that has reminded me that in God’s kingdom there are many workers and I am blessed to know some of them.
I am often guilty of judging the church by numbers. How many are in this or that activity? But numbers cannot tell the total story of a Church’s health. Today I learned again that O’Fallon First has those who are listening to God and reaching out in His love to others. Is not this a sign of spiritual health, too?
I know professional basketball is not everybody’s ‘thing.’ But I like it and I have found myself watching the NBA’s play-offs. Last night I watched the Bulls play the Heat. Miami Heat this year paid some big money to obtain some star players. I thought they would be the team of the year with the big three they have on their team. But the Chicago Bulls won the first game easily. Before the game the announcers were doing what they do best just talking and wondering. One person said the Bulls would win this series because they had a deeper bench. Another announcer said that they spent all their money on the ’stars’ and could not afford as good a bench as the Bulls. I like where they were going with their comments. Too often we overlook the bench players and yet they are vital to the game, too.
I don’t know who will win this series but I do know that on God’s team there are no unimportant persons. Everyone has something to contribute. And so rather than trying to be a star like someone else how about just being you. God can and does use the unknown ‘yous’ to carry out His will. I guess I like this thought because I have always thought of myself as a bench player not a star. It takes all kinds to not only make the world but to make God’s kingdom move forward.