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It is amazing how life changes the older one becomes. I was reading a prayer by an unknown author. The prayer went something like when I was younger I prayed to God and asked Him to change the world. In middle years I prayed and asked God to change those around me. Now in my latter years I pray and ask God to change me. Reading those words my spirit knew the truth of those words. Even in my latter years I, at times, am more concerned with God changing others than in God changing me.
What is even more amazing is how I can be so quick to find other’s faults and shortcomings and be blind to my own. All of this is why I need to be on my face before God asking for Him to change me. I need more a heart like God’s that loves all and devotes the majority of time to clean up my own life. When I think more deeply about all of this I know that the only person I can change is me. So, this week I am going to spend time alone with God asking Him to continue working on me.
Not feeling the best I took some night time cold medicine before I went to bed. When the alarm went off my mind was not totally awake. I got up but did not feel totally awake. As I was walking with my companion and friend Pablo,(he is our family dog), I started to think of everything I had to do today. I wrestled with an invitation to help out with a worthy project in the community. I knew I had to make several phone calls and I had to go to a couple of meeting plus check in on some sick folks. As I thought of all that awaited me, I started to let my mind roll down some negative thoughts. How come I had to do all of this? Will I ever get caught up? Before long I was wondering how come no one understood me and I was engaging in self pity. Although no one could see it as I walked, it was not a pretty sight.
When I got to my office, I got a cup of coffee and started to look at the stack of work that lie before me. In the midst of going through it all I stopped and took some time to switch mental tracks. I do have a wonderful caring family. My spouse is very supportive and loves me. My children are a gift from God. I am so blessed to be a part of a church that loves me and accepts me and allows me to minister here. I even thanked God for the janitors who had come in and emptied my overflowing waste basket. My whole outlook seemed to change. The day looked so much better and my energy to tackle all before seemed more than adequate. It is amazing what praise can do for the mind and whole being. Today I praise God for helping me to be more a person of praise.
Living in the moment is not easy for me. I have a tendency to want to think about the future more than I need. The only day I am assured of living is now. Tomorrow is not a sure deal. One of the great lessons of life that I have had to remind myself of is that I must live in the moment. If I don’t I may miss some of life that is right before me. My spouse would like to have me in the now more. I try not to but there have been times when I have been on vacation and allow my mind to wander back to work. Hence I spoiled my own good time.
When Moses asked God what was His name. God said I am. God is in the now and calls us to be in it too. Today I am going to focus on today. I may make future plans but always I must realize that all my planning is if God wills it. In a way life is to be lived not planned. This week I am going to ask God to help me live more in the now.
Today I got up early and greeted the day with amazement. It had snowed over night and at 5am the snow on the ground looked like a picture postcard. I drove out to the park to walk my dog. We were the first ones to walk down the path. I enjoyed making tracks and see the snow on the trees. Although it was cold and I could not walk as fast as normal, I marveled at the wonders of creation.
I suppose I wonder at life more lately because of my dad. He had a stroke last August and continues to be in a nursing home. He sleeps a great deal and cannot walk. Our family is getting used to the idea that he made spend the rest of his life in that home. Some days when I feel rushed or discouraged I think of my dad and count my blessings. It is sad that sometimes we take for granted so much until it is taken from us. Today I want to enjoy the snow and the walk and all of life. It is a precious gift.
Today is my spouse’s birthday. As a part of the celebration of that day we are going to go out and eat and then go to a concert later in the evening. I am looking forward to the celebration. I am most thankful for Phyllis and how she has enriched my life. But as I reflect on her birthday I wonder where the time has gone. I have a difficult time believing how old I am. In my mind I still think of myself as young but when I look at the calendar I know my youth is long gone.
Realizing that life goes by so quickly causes me to be thankful for each day of life that God has given to me. Hence I want to live fully aware that each moment is a time to not be wasted but to be used wisely and joyfully. With each passing day I want to be more fully aware of God’s goodness that is all around me. Today I am asking God to make me not just older but wise. And the Bible has taught me that wisdom is knowing God.
Waking up early I read some pages from the book Ate with Sinners. I ran across a fact that caused my to read it a couple of times to make sure I had read it correctly. The author said that in the first fifteen years of Rick Warren’s ministry his church relocated 79 times. Yes, 79 times. That is a lot of moving around. The author used this fact to show that the Church is not a building but a body. A moving living body is not only alive but it moves. The author of this book is driving home the point that the Church of Jesus Christ must go to the people and not expect people to come to it.
There is much truth in the thought that the
Pulling out my calendar I started checking off tasks that I have accomplished this week. As I was going through this past week I thought about all that I have been involved in and I also thought about the many emotions that I have felt. This past week has been a bit of a struggle for me. I really cannot put my finger on one cause but I do know that I have had to fight (and I do mean fight) off feelings of defeat and low self worth.
However, I want to put all of this in perspective. There are many factors that go into my feelings. I know if I don’t get the proper amount of sleep, that fact colors my world view. I also know that exercise, expectations of situations and people and many other variables go into how I feel. But what is most surprising about all of this is that I sometimes pay what too much attention to my feelings. Feelings are just feelings and I know that my life is not built on them. In fact my Rock is God who is above human feelings. (Not that He doesn’t have them) This week God has reminded me in many ways that my life is built on a faith in Him not on how I feel. Feelings are just feelings and I will trust in God and His way to work all for good to those who love Him.
This past weekend I took off a day and spent the time with my spouse. We went to
There are times in my life when I need to be more attentive to my loved ones. Family does not just happen. A family needs to be nourished and fed in many ways. I often think that my most important task in life is to those closest to me. So today and every day I pray I will be the family member God intends for me to be.
Yesterday I took my son and his family to the airport so they could begin their trek to their home. Living in a different country means that I won’t see them for a few months. I enjoyed having them in our house. I can still hear my third year old grandson saying; ‘grandpa I love you.’ It still sends chills up and down my spine to think of hearing those words. As much as I loved their visit and long for it again, it also threw my routine off. I stayed up later than usual. I went and did activities that I would not normally do. I found myself feeling a bit more tired than usual and not getting done what had to be done. Today as I write these words I am catching my breathe and looking forward to the ‘regular’ routines I function best in.
As I reflect on all of this, I am reminded again that God calls us out of our ruts. He calls us by faith to walk into the unknown and certainly the uncomfortable. From where I sit this is not easy but then God does not call us to comfort. Life is every changing and God calls us to be people of faith. Today I pray I will walk out of my ruts and follow God no matter where He leads.
I just finished reading a book entitled; God’s Healing Community. It was worth the time to read it. In this book the author list the steps toward healing. Let me share them. The first step is relaxation. Relaxing is the opposite of being tense. God is in control. Do not reason etc. Relax. The next step is purging. Are there ’sins’ in our life that should be removed? Perhaps an attitude is wrong. The third step is clarification. The person seeking healing must be specific, telling God exactly the area he or she needs healing. The fourth step is consecration. There must be a giving over completely to God’s will. A complete surrender to God by the person seeking healing. The fifth step is anticipation. It is a faith that has an eager expectancy to it. God will be faithful. The last step is appropriation. The person begins acting in the strength of the healing power received and is grateful to God for the reality of the healing power in their life.
I enjoyed the book and am letting its thoughts and ideas become a part of my life. As I read each step I felt I could use God’s help to pull me through. My prayer today is that of the one in the New Testament who prayed I believe, help my unbelief. I am asking God to heal me of my weak faith and many of my improper attitudes.
I have had a wonderful holiday season. I have enjoyed my family being together and going to many different events. All is all it was wonderful. I hate to see it end in many ways. This week is a get back to work week for me and I am busy trying to get back on a routine. One of the lessons that I had come my way during this season of the year is to accept others. If you knew my family you would know that we are all different. There are family traits that come out from time to time but each person is an individual in many ways. Add to this mix daughter-in-laws who come from different backgrounds with different life styles and I find myself having to grow in many areas of my life.
Growing is not an easy task for me. It requires a commitment accept others for who they are not what I want them to be. Writing those words is much easier than living them. As I approach this week I am asking God to help me accept others. This prayer will require letting myself go and letting God work in me. No doubt this is a difficult request. It will take God. That is my prayer today.
I looked at my calendar today and was surprised at how few days are left in this year. 2009 has gone by very quickly and I have had my share of good and bad times. As I reflect on this I have really had a great year. My personal life has been good. My family not only speaks to me but speak words of love and encouragement. Even my dog seems better this year. (He is on some meds for sore joints) I can say without reservation that God has been good to me. However, as I think back I know that I have messed up many times. I have done and said things that I wish I could go back and undo. Words spoken without thinking seem to be my big undoing. I also have been too sensitive when I should have been more loving.
Being the type of person that thinks about life and does a lot of internalizing, I love the start of a New Year. For me it signals a fresh beginning. It is a time to let the past go and begin anew. I love that feeling. That is one of the reasons I love walking with God. Every day is a New Day and a New Beginning.
Looking out my office window does not look too much like Christmas and yet it is Christmas eve (yes, I work on that day). It is raining not snowing and I have a cold that is stopping me from doing any real deep thinking (not that I am too capable of that anyway). My one son is packing up his stuff getting ready to go to his in-laws for their Christmas celebration and Phyllis is working away on getting the house back in order. In a few minutes I will go to make a couple of hospital calls and then get ready for the Christmas eve services. It is a busy day indeed but one that I have grown to love. Christmas eve services are very special to me. They just seem to be alive with excitement and joy.
As you read these words Christmas may be past but the Spirit of Christmas is still alive and well. I wish you a Lasting Christmas that is with you throughout the entire year. Merry Eternal Christmas.
In just a few days Christmas will be here. Our family Christmas will not begin until the 27th. That is the date that our entire family will be together. This year our sons are with their in-laws for Christmas day. But as I write these words I know that my family is much broader than my wife and sons. I have been blessed through the years with many great friends and always a church family that has helped me in many ways. I have my problems with the Church but it has been there for me in so many ways that I have grown to love it more and more.
Because of my love for the Church and the Christ of the Church I am excited about the upcoming Christmas Eve services. I am a little afraid of the
Yesterday our Church had a Christmas program at two of the four services. Attending those two services I felt God speaking to me again. The music was uplifting and the stories of individual’s experiences with Christmas prayers were amazing. I went home, ate lunch, visited with a person whose son died recently and made a hospital visit. When all that was over, I came home to rest. I even fell asleep in front of the television set. (This is not new to me.) After resting I got on the Church’s web site (offumc.org) and began to listen to the sermon that Phyllis (my spouse) preached at the other two services. (She had a great sermon).
It is amazing to me that I am now a part of a church that has not only different styles of worship but offers many options. This is hard for me because I cannot know everything that is happening. That is a wonderful reminder to me that O’Fallon First United Methodist Church is not about me but about God. That is a fact that I want to hold on to and continually meditate on.
Waiting for Phyllis I sat down. We were scheduled to play racket ball and she was running late. I watched as two young adults finished their game. They were very good and I enjoyed seeing them show their skills. When they got done, they started talking to me. They were new to the area. She is an engineer working on a power plant near the area. They both love racket ball. She was telling me about her shopping experience on Saturday. She said that she went to the mall and traffic was heavy. According to her there was even a policeman directing traffic. She told me in detail about her experience and then she surprised me. She said she loved it. Yes, love it. I look surprised and then she said she was from Los Angeles and it reminded her of home. I was taken back but she did point me to a valuable lesson in life.
Each of us comes at life from a different perspective. Heavy traffic may raise blood pressures for some and for others it brings back warm memories of home. Listening to others tell their stories is a very interesting activity and one that can help us see the world differently. I hope today I listen and maybe I will gain a different view of life.
For me life goes by very quickly. My life is filled with many good events. It seems like only yesterday that I was just starting out in a small rural church. Every time I look at my sons I cannot believe how quickly they have become grown men. Because of all of this I am taking a closer and more deliberate look at life itself. Some things that used to be of extreme importance just don’t seem to be such a high priority. The longer I live the more sweet life seems to taste and the more I am able to sort out the eternal from the mundane.
However, there are many times I still get caught up in some minor happenings that I elevate to major. But I with God’s help am gaining a better perspective on life, itself. And I do believe it takes God’s help. An eternal God helps me to see life with more an eye on the eternal. I hope that I will more and more to have a truly godly view of life.
This week promises to be a busy one. I have two funerals that require my attention. These funerals will require emotional energy. There is also a finance meeting in which we are going to set the 2010 budget. As one can imagine that meeting can also be draining. Add to these happenings the regular duties of staff meeting, visiting the sick, making phone calls, and preparing a sermon and leading two Bible studies. Even as I write these words I am well aware that there will be happenings that I have not even seen coming.
All of this demands some skill at time management. However, the bigger issue is following God’s leading. This week that lies ahead of me is not mine to use as I want to use it. It is a gift from God that requires I use it as He would have me use it. Therefore, what is required of me is to be in a relationship with God that listens to His leadings.
I would be a failure as a pastor if I only did what I wanted to do. Therefore I ask you as you read these words to pray for me. Pray that as God speaks I will listen and obey. Also pray that God will continue to give me the strength and endurance that the tasks before me require.
Last Sunday our church had another preview service which will help us become a multi-sited church. I have spent most of today discussing the many parts of that service. But in the midst of the discussion we all have been in agreement that despite the many technical problems God was in the house. I would rather have God’s Spirit with us and have a less than perfect service than to have a perfect service without God’s Spirit. God’s Spirit with us makes all the difference in the world.
It is all too easy to think we are doing something great and feel like it was a success. However, the Scripture put it well that “without God they labor in vain who build the house.” (Psalm 127:1) One of the problems as I see it among the modern church is that there is too much emphasis on what we can do and not enough upon relying on God. I not only needed to write those words I need to live them. I work too hard at what I can do and not enough on letting God work.
Using fountain pens is my writing instrument of choice. I love the feel of the pen in my hands. Writing slowly and deliberately is much easier with a fountain pen in my hand. In my mind there are many good reasons to use such an instrument. But there are some reasons that fountain pens have lost interest to many. One of those negatives is that these pens can be messy. More than once I have had ink get on my hands from the pen.
Today I started to write a note to someone and discovered that the pen I was using was out of ink. This is not big problem and I quickly got up and got the bottle of ink. One of the great features of the fountain pen is that there are many colors of ink. I took my bottle of purple ink and filled the pen. As I was putting the lid back on the bottle I dropped it. Ink went all over the table. I cleaned it up and felt good about it. Not much damage except that I was going to have purple fingertips for a few hours.
Lunch time found me having lunch with some friends. I was relaxing and enjoying the conversation when I noticed that the ink had spotted my pants. The purple spots stood out and although I tried to forget about them, my eyes kept seeing them over and over again.Those spots remind me of the many times I have sinned against others or God and thought all was well. Later I have discovered that my ‘sinning’ brought damage to myself or others. Strange how I don’t like to think about this but it is real in my world. So, today I am thankful for forgiveness from God and others. That forgiveness has allowed me to continue to enjoy life. It also has reminded me that I need to be a forgiving person, too.