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This
past week I took a couple of days off and went to see my mother. She
is doing quite well everything considered. She would let you know
that she still misses my dad who has been gone for almost two years
now. I had a good visit and I guess it is true that your mom is
always your mom. I will never know how much my mom sacrificed for me
personally. However, I do know that my mom is my best prayer
warrior. She constantly is remembering me in her prayers and for me
this is the greatest gift that she can ever give me.
Mother’s
Day is coming up and it is a good reminder that one of God’s
greatest gifts to us is our families. I know that not every one
comes from a ‘good’ home. But there is a longing in all of us to
be a part of a loving, caring family. This longing is one of the
reasons that I call God my “Father.” He is my heavenly parent
who allows me to be a part of a family where I have found
unconditional love.
I
am so glad I saw my mom again. I learned when my dad died that
parents will not always be with us. That reminder makes this
Mother’s Day special. My mom is alive and well. Happy Mother’s
Day to all mom!!!!
Last Friday I ran a 5k
race. I have not been jogging as much as I should to be in a race.
But I got caught up in the excitement of the race. Because of the
crowd and other factors I found myself running at a great pace. It
felt great to be able to do much better than I ever dreamed.
Celebrating my wonderful experience with my son and daughter-in-law
and some other friends was a wonderful end to a great day.
But two days later my
legs ached and I felt like I had been in a battle. I walked much
slower and even a couple of aspirins didn’t seem to bring relief.
Are you feeling sorry for me yet? But what happened next is amazing.
I took some time to just rest. A nap seemed to come easily and
after resting my body started to recover. My strength started to
come back to normal.
So, today I am reflecting
on all of my running experience and marveling at how wonderfully made
the human body is. Today I am rejoicing that life (even human life)
is so amazing.
Being
an introvert has made certain parts of being a minister difficult.
After all being in ministry does require being around people. I have
learned to be more outgoing and I do enjoy many social activities.
But I also know that I need ‘down’ time away from it all. In this
part of the world I do a lot of bike riding and it has brought a
refreshment to my soul. But the biggest help along this line is that
God has let me see myself for who I am. I am not one who can be on
the go all the time. So, I pace myself. I am not one to give in to
every happening that comes down my path. I have learned to wait and
see on some issues. I have also learned that I do not speak out all
the time. I can be quiet and learn by listening.
Knowing
myself has been a life long journey and it is not over yet. And one
of the biggest lessons of knowing myself is that not everyone is like
me. There are some people who think and act differently. I am
learning that this makes a wonderful world. So, today and I hope
everyday I will learn more about myself and learn more from others.
Last
week I had a strange happening. I was not looking forward to all
that I had to do. A member of the church, who was not only a good
person but a person I respected died. That took some emotional
energy from me. There were some other happenings that also drained
me. But what surprised me was in the midst of all this activity I
had a committee meeting that actually charged me up. You read
correctly -a committee meeting that picked me up.
Reflecting
on this happening has caused me to thank God for answered prayers.
Before going to that meeting I felt drained and I prayed that God’s
will would be done. God chose to answer that prayer in a wonderful
way. That surprise has forced me to not only thank God but to affirm
again that God is a God of surprises.
As
this week is just starting to unfold I have spent more time in prayer
and asking God again for His will to be done in my life and the life
of the Church that I am called to be the minister of. Join me in
prayer for God’s will to be in all our lives and in our world.
Life
does not always go the way I think it should. In fact there are
times I wonder how I got into some things. I am sitting here at my
desk wondering how I got involved in this evening’s activities. It
is not a bad happening and in fact will probably be a good time but I
wanted to do something else. I just wanted to be home and rest up
for the busy week ahead. But now I am committed to something
entirely different. As I stated life does not always go the way I
think it should.
But
then again why do I think life should go the way I want it to go?
When I really put some thought into my place in life, I come up with
the amazing idea that life is not about me. There is so much more in
life than my little part in it. I am more convinced than ever that I
need to be more flexible and enjoy all aspects of life even those
parts that are on my to do list. By the way -many of the good times
in life for me have been those times I never would have thought it
would have turned out that way.
April
1 is past. It is according to many the day that you can fool people
and get by with it simply by saying “April fools.” I, myself,
have enjoyed this day. Watching someone ‘fall’ for a falsehood can
be fun. But imagine if every day was a April Fool’s day. It would
be a terrible world indeed.
However,
when I think of some of the talking that I have heard I wonder if
some don’t think it is April fool’s day. I have had promises made to
me that the minute I heard it I knew something was not right. What
is really sad is that sometimes I have been guilt of not speaking as
honestly as I am capable. One of the thoughts that God has been
speaking to me about is my praying for others. I need to step it up
a notch and be more intention and more specific. It is so easy to
say to a person, “I will be praying for you” and to give a quick
prayers and be done. I am going to have to think more about this
topic and not let any other day be an ‘April Fools Day.’
My
older son called and he was offered a teaching position at a
University in America. He has been in Belgium working on a
doctorate and is done with that work. So, he is thinking about his
future. As he is thinking about his it has started me thinking, too.
A move to the United States would mean that my son and his family
might be living closer to me. This thought has occupied some of my
thinking time. Any change -even positive change- causes a death to
the old and the new to come forth.
Just
living is to be among many changing experiences. I am not sure what
all this means or even if it has to have a meaning. But I do know
that I must live each moment by faith. By faith I believe that life
is good even in those moments it seems otherwise. By faith I also
believe that God is working all things in my life for His good. So,
today I am asking God for more faith and going to take faith for a
walk around the block.
I,
like all in my community, set my clock ahead by one hour. That
doesn’t sound like a big deal. It is only one hour. But it does
cause me some minor concerns. For example, I am wanting to stay up a
little earlier than usual and I am not ready for meals which seem a
little early. This time change shows again that I am so much a
creature of habit that even a time change is easily noticed by me.
It
really is the little things in life that make a difference. That is
why I practice some spiritual disciplines. Reading a devotional
everyday is such a part of my life that to skip it does have an
impact on me. Praying each day as I take my early morning walk is so
such a ritual that when I have to miss it my day seems off. More
than once I have had to look at my daily routines and see if they are
helping or hurting my life – all of my life even the spiritual
side. As I think about this subject I realize again that the time
change has helped me look at my life and how I live it. As I think
about it maybe I need more time changes. (Just kidding but I hope you
get the point)
Have
you ever had those times where you were in inner turmoil? I have at
times found myself doing battle with me. There have been those times
I have seen a situation from different points of view and really I
was not sure what to do or which way to turn I find those moments
very difficult to handle. I have even found myself losing sleep just
wondering.
Perhaps
the trouble is that I am looking at all of this from the wrong angle.
I am looking at it from my vantage point. Maybe I should be looking
more to God and letting Him work it out. That is not to say I will
do nothing but it is to say I want to be a person who looks to God
first and last and then see what happens rather than a person who
looks to the problems first and last. So, this week I am determined
to focus more on God and less on me and my concerns.
Today
I find myself alone in the house. My spouse is out of town visiting
her family and also seeing our son. Colby (our older son who lives
in Belgium) is in Chicago and Phyllis (my spouse) can see him and her
family in the same visit. I am sure she is having a great time
making and sharing memories. But here I sit alone. Of course I am
not really alone. Pablo, our dog, is with me and so is God’s Spirit.
Obviously I miss my spouse but I am also using the time to get
caught up on some work projects and some leisure activities that I
enjoy. In fact I believe that each individuals needs to spend time
alone with God and with themselves.
I
find that when I am by myself I am given the opportunity to mature
and reflect. Strange isn’t it that so much of life is done with
others and yet our relationship to ourselves is so very important and
sometimes so overlooked. Let me make a gentle suggestion. Take time
each day to be alone with yourself and learn to be your own best
friend. This is not to say we don’t need others but it is to say
take care of you. Jesus once said that we should ‘love our neighbor
as ourselves.’ Learn to love yourself.
This
past Sunday was a great day. For me each worship service was a
delightful. But more than that fact was I felt God was speaking in
them too. The music seemed to proclaim it message of God’s love
clearly and I felt good about the preaching. But what was most
impressive was the fact that I could sense that many came to worship
God. When people come to worship, worship happens.
That
last sentence sounds so simple but so easy to overlook. As a pastor
I can make plans for worship. There are songs to be chosen, sermons
to be prepared and certainly many prayers given. But the main
ingredient in great worship is worshippers with hearts that are open
to God. When a person comes in a church looking and wanting to find
God they will. God shows up when people of faith gather with hearts
of faith.
My
own heart was blessed last Sunday in worship because I needed to
sense God’s presence. So, I thank all who showed up and helped in
making it a time of real worship. You helped me to worship.
Last
week was a rough one for me personally. A close friend of our family
died suddenly. That death has caused me to do some deep thinking. I
have wondered about the meaning of life and also thought about how my
time on this earth is limited. Of course, I also thought about how I
would not be able to spend any more time on this earth with my
friend. This tragedy has also caused me to re-evaluate my friends.
They are my most valuable resources. My life is so rich having those
that I call friends and who call me a friend.
As
I think on the remaining days on this earth, I hope I can keep an eye
on what really matters and friends are at the top of my list. With
the remaining year that I have I want to be a friend to others and to
be ever thankful for those precious lives that God has allowed me to
know and have been a great help to me throughout my life. Today I
thank God for the many who have enriched my life greatly.
The
last few days have made me wonder about the weather. Who would have
guessed that February would start out with such warm weather? I
actually found myself going outside without a jacket. So far
February has not felt like itself to me. I am not sure what to make
of this happening. But then again am I supposed to make anything of
it? The weather happens and in many ways is a mystery. Sure we can
‘predict’ and predict we do. But we really cannot control it.
It is beyond us in many ways.
During
the last few days I have learned of some friends who are facing some
serious health issues. I find myself at a loss not only of what to
say but what to think. It has caused me to acknowledge once again
that life is a mystery. I try my best to control my life but much of
it is beyond me. So, today rather than complain about the weather or
my life I am going to acknowledge the mysteries around me and thank
God for them all. They certainly keep life interesting don’t they?
My
plans do not always go as I think they are going to go. Today I had
lunch plans with a person from the Church. Phyllis, my spouse was
out of town for the day and I had arranged this luncheon to catch up
on this person’s life. We were to meet at the Bread Company and
meet we did. The food was good and the conversation was even better.
I had planned on eating lunch and then picking up some items at the
store. When we parted he left to go out one door and I left to go
out another. On my way out I saw some people from the church and
started visiting with them. They invited me to sit down and I did.
Before I knew it I was enjoying myself in conversation and time was
flying by. They finished eating and we all started to leave. Hard
to believe but before I could get out the door a couple called out to
me and started to tell me about how one of them had broken an arm.
When
I finally made it to my vehicle I decided to go home. I had to be
some place and did not have time to stop at any stores. As I drove
home I had a strange feeling that the interruptions were meant to be.
I do not think about it much but my plans are not as important as I
sometimes think. Reflecting on my time in the Bread Company helps me
to see that God places people in our paths and they are much more
important than any schedule. I hope I can learn this life lesson
well and more importantly live it well.
A
couple of days ago my mom called. She was upset. She related her
reason for being upset. My brother in law had just received the word
that his cancer was fast acting and there was not much the medical
profession could do to help the situation. My sister and husband
were told that he had between a month and three month to live. This
news was upsetting to me also. What do you do or say?
Since
that day I have talked with my sister and they are probably going to
try a massive chemo treatment and see if this can buy a few more day
of life. I mostly listened and tried to be supportive. My sister
asked me for a favor. She wanted me to pray and pray I did. That
prayer on the phone was not the last one I have uttered for my
brother in law and sister and I will continue to be in prayer.
This
whole experience has caused me to think again about how quickly life
goes by. It seems like only yesterday my sister got married and
moved to the State of Wyoming. All this thinking has convinced me to
thank God for each day of life that is given to me. Life is a gift
for sure.
This past week I listened to some tapes about feelings and I learned that feelings are just that -feelings. They are not good or bad just feelings. I also learned that a person should not be ruled by those feelings. If a person is not careful feelings can lead a person down a wrong road. Obviously God gave us feelings but He also gave us a mind to sort through those feelings and find our way to fulfilment and joy.
So, today I am going to look at my feelings but not be led by them. I am going to enjoy this day despite how I feel. Believe it or not this will not be easy for me. I tend to have a lot of feelings about a lot of things. So, the way I am going to accomplish this is the only way I can get it done -with God’s help. So, with God’s help I am moving past the feelings and going on faith that God is not only with me but working all for good in my life.
Getting ready this morning was just like any other morning. I was putting on my socks when my spouse started talking about some pages in a devotional book that had spoken to her. I was paying very close attention and then it hit me that I needed to focus on what she was saying. I listened as intently as I could and heard her heart speaking. I am ashamed to admit that there are times I do not listen as well as I should. But today God helped me listen and because of this she shared some thoughts that we very important to her.
This early morning happening has caused me to reflect more on listening. I would have never heard my spouses heart if I had not focused on not just her words but all that was taking place around me. I wonder how many of life’s surprising moments I miss because I am in a hurry to get on with something else or because I am too taken up with my own thoughts. Today I am hoping and praying that I will listen more with ears that hear the heart.
I enjoy being right. This can be a real problem in my relationship with others. There are been (and I am ashamed to say) times when being right became the top priority. I am sitting here today wondering about my need to be right and have decided that I can not only be wrong (I certainly have been many times) but I can also put relationship above being right. I really need to be think about being more humble in many ways. I am talking about not just with those who are friends but most of all with my family and close friends.
After all I am just a human like everyone else. I am no better and no worse than any one else. So, this week I am going to think about the words respect and honor and try to live them out.
For some reason this week has been a tough one for me. The biggest problem I have faced the last few days is me. I tend to think about issues and relationships so much that eventually I can come up with a problem. I would not say I look for a problem but I tend to ‘find’ one way to easily. The one good ‘thing’ about this is that I in part realize what is going on. This allows me to not get too worked up on some of the problems I see coming my way. Let me go back to the beginning sentence. I am very capable of messing up my own life without help from anyone.
I write all of this to say that today I am going to redeem the day and take my head out of the sand and get on having a great day. I am not going to do this on my own strength. I am going to ask God to help me accomplish this task. (and not just today but for tomorrow too)
I am writing these words late at night. (At least late for me.) I have had a long day. There have been many different parts to this day. I
have listened to some complaints about some happenings at the church.
I have seen some sick at the hospitals. One of those sick is
questioning if God really cares and heals. I have listened to a
person who is thinking about a life change. Emailing has taken some
time too. There are those who have questions and those who just want
to keep in touch. My spouse is in Belgium and I not only read her
email but responded to it. (She is getting a cold which has me a bit
concerned.) And the frosting on my day was a long meeting tonight
that touched on many topics.
So, tonight as I sit here writing I am tired and feeling exhausted. Once
I get down with these words I am going to read the Bible and say my
prayers and lay myself down for a night of sleep. What always amazes
me is that after a night of sleep everything looks better. Sleep
really is a great gift from God. I am thanking God for the rest He
gives us not only in sleep but in the assurance that this is His
world and He is in control. The time has come to let this day go and
let God bring a renewal to me.